i ran last night
very little pain (1hr)
and went twice as far as normal!!!
also got rid of all the chocolate that was knocking around my room. (this felt very good)
so, no choclate
double my 30min
still have to get to the gym 4 times this week, may not manage...but will def keep on track with the other goals

weekend was..... interesting

I need Goals

Its so close to next year and i have stumbled when barely into my project. I have started eating crap again, i had so much chocolate last night. I barely tasted it. Why am i doing this to myslef? is it just because i am scared of going down south tomorrow? and i really am, i dont know what to expect, i dont know how he feels about me... i know how i feel but can i really continue investing so much emotional energy into an uncertainty?

So back to my goals for new year.

At last weigh in i was 14.2 stone (may be more atm) (198 pounds)
there are 5 weeks until new years.
if i really work at it and aim for a 2 pound loss a week, then i will be 178 = 12.7 stone i think that is too ambitious, so mabye aim for 13 stone. thats -16 pounds. 0r 1.6 loss per week. Much more attainable. (secret goal is to be t 80kgs for new years eve) which is 12.5 stone...OH HELP !!!actually being a size 14 would be nice as well

To do this i will excercise for at least half an hour a day.
Go to the gym 4 times a week
drink 2-3l of water per day (INCLUDING weekends)
No chocolate, absolutely none. Will put up a calander at work...Chocolate free days!!!
Make myself accountable...will update how i am doing every day.

and this is my last post until i get back on sun/mon so will start on Mon (dont want to have to fuss too much while i am dashing around down south) but all the dashing my help get me out of my rut

Have a good weekend all!!! thank you for the lovely comments etc, its nice to know that some one reads my waffle, it helps.

this post may sound cruel, but i am seriously angry. My boss is overweight, more so than i was when i started. The other day she said 'i would have asked you how you have managed to loose the weight, but you have bee sick so it doesnt matter'. SORRY? i was ill for a week!!!! i have been 'dieting' and exercising like mad and eating healthily for 6 weeks. Thats how i have lost weight. By putting some bloody effort in... she sitts theer and has greasy breakfasts, crisps, chcolate, greasy lunches and complains that she needs to loose weight...well DUH. she also should get some excersie.

I am not even following a particular diet i have just cut out as much refined and processed foods including bread, sweets and crisips. make sure i eat my five a day and get some excercise. i have worked hard at it...thats how i am bloody doing it.

so yes i am angry, angry that she sits there and stuffs her face but complains how fat she is (i never did as i knew that the only reason i was fat was because i made myslef that way!) no one else is to blame... the fat fairies did nto come over and wave a wand and make me fat... in the same way that i am making myslef thinner... there is no magic wand no illness just plain sweat and sometimes tears.


on a happier note i had an excellent saturday where i went horse riding and got to try out icelandics and learn how to tolt. then we went bowling...which was also fun. am stiff today, but yoga tomorrow will help.

it must just be a case of puttting your head down and getting on with it.

*a journey of a thousand miles begines with a single step... and the subsequent putting o one foot in front of the other and just keep going

*'some one once said to me 'why do you insist on taking the hard road?' and so i said 'what makes you assume i see two road?''

i hope you all had a wonderful weekend. xxx

send three and four pence.....WE ARE GOUNG TO A DANCE :)

and on the 7th week Jessica rested.
have been successfully on my diet for 6 weeks (last thursady) and as above i then 'rested' well fell off the wagon more like, BUT got weighed today.
and i stayed the same :D YES.
so body was craving sugar today.

'you say you want sugar do you?'
'YES YES, now...sugar now'
'well you asked for it.....'

so i have eaten everything with sugar in possible, biccis and fudge and choc.also have two large 500ml coke currently floating sumwhere on the ceiling.
but feel rather sick and shakey...quite happy to have NO sugar...EVER AGAIN

am in the strangest mood...must be a sugar high or something
*bounce*
*grin*
*laugh histerically*

life is good

1) How old do you wish you were? old enough not to care and young enough not to care
2)where were you on sept 11? i cant actually remeber, mabye at school
3) What do you do when vending machines steal your money? just leave it
4) Do you consider yourself kind? i think so, i hope so
5) If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? i have three, this question is a bit of a moot point really
6) If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? xhosa, or zulu
7) Do you know your neighbors? yes, they are my grandparents
8)What do you consider a vacation? anytime i actually unwind
9) Do you follow your horoscope? not really
10) Would you move for the person you loved? i love to travel...so YES
11) Are you touchy feely? very
12) Do you believe that opposites attract? i think so
13) Dream job? i havent a clue.
14) Favorite channel(s) i actually dont watch that much tv
15) Favorite place to go on a weekend? talana (not like thats going to ever happen again)
16) Showers or Bath? shower to get clean , bath to relax
17)do you paint your nails? sometimes
18) Do you trust people easily? no
19) What are your phobias? the dark, heights, scary movies, ghosts and gouls
20) Do you want kids? i think so
21) Do you keep a handwritten journal? no, but i have two online ones, one that some people read and other that other people read
22) Where would you rather be right now? at home of course, or somewhere sunny
23) What makes you feel warm and safe? its been that long that i have felt safe and secure that i cant remember, but generally on horse does it for me
24) Heavy or light sleep? very heavy (slept through the smoke alram the other night..oops)
25) Are you paranoid? sometimes, overly analitical and self critical...these are similar if not the same :)
26) Are you impatient? it depends, i vary between the two, mostly i want things NOW thouhg, so mabye thats more yes
27) Who can you relate to? kagi... and also susan, and def John-Michael
28 ) How do you feel about interracial couples? i dont know
29) Have you been burned by love?ive been burned by unrequited love, does this count?
30) Whats your life motto?? just keep swimming
31) What's your main ring tone on your cell? umm... ring ring
32) What were you doing at midnight last night? just got into bed...was at the movies, only caught the 9pm show on account of yoga till 6
33) Who was your last text message from? Susan organising movies
34) Who's bed did you sleep in last night? mine, it was lonesome ;)
35) What color shirt are you wearing? black, white and brown, yesterday was red
36) Most recent movie you watched? starter for ten, its a really cute romcom
37) Name five things you have on you at all times? a smile, perfume, wallet, mp3 player, water
38.) What color are your bed sheets? beige
39) How much cash do you have on you right now? a couple of pounds
40) What is your favorite part of chicken? thigh
41) What's your favorite town/city? broome
42) I can't wait till... my 21st birthday
43) Who got you to join myspace? wesley tried
44) What did you have for dinner last night? popcorn...hey i was at the movies
45) How tall are you barefoot? 5'4
46) Have you ever smoked crack? NO!!! and will never
47) Do you own a gun? no
48) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? water
49) What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? i wish i had one...lol
50) Do you have A.D.D.? im sorry, what was the question again?
51) What time did you wake up today? 6:30..only got out of bed at 7:15
52) Current worry? life in general
53) Current hate? life in general... no just the weather, and lack of bike...must rectify this
54) Favorite place to be? home, or australia
55) Where would you like to travel? everywhere
56) Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? hopefully married with kids, or kids on the way... if not then travelling
57) last thing you ate? ham and cheese roll
58) What songs do you sing in the shower? hakuna matata
59) Last person that made you laugh? Gary
60) Worst injury you've ever had? broken leg, and ram...although not at the same time, also when i damaged my back falling off a horse, that was pretty bad
61) Does someone have a crush on you? no idea, i wish i suppose
62) What is your favorite candy? mmmmm candy

At the beginning of sept i was a bridesmaid when my Gandad got remarried. I was literallly bursting out of my dress.

I put said dress on again on monday and i can just about swim in it!

Must take a picture and then post both (the before and after).

Good idea, hey mabye stick both on the fridge, adn beside my bed, and on my computer, and at work... and anywhere else i am tempted to eat!

*right... am trying for about the 10th time to publish this damn thing, hopefully this one works

[url=http://www.TickerFactory.com/][img]http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/3;0;0;0;0/c/-19/t/-77/k/2806/weight.png[/img][/url]


Finally got one of these! to keep track visually of how i am doing

speaking of which...thank you all for popping over, and the lovely comments made my day (as i was almost on the verge of caving in to the binge , which has successfully beeen calmed ) so THANKS everyone

My weekend was great in terms of eating, but the excercise thing went out the window due to small accedint between myself the bike and a rather solid wall... the wall is OK.

my bike is buggered, my sholder is buggered, on a good note i have yoga tonight and that should help loosen me up again. (nend to find time to buy new bike...SOON)

I went for a small jog this morning, but on account of buggered knee from bike... and shin splints... it wasnt that far or fast so in terms of excercies i think t was a small drop in the ocean of what i could do on my bike... althoughi really want to improve my running but can only manage a couple of times and then have to rest again.

Has anyone had these? any idea how to get rid of/ get passed them? any advice and ideas is appreciated!

hope the weekend was great!

I got weighed this morning

I have lost NINE pounds!!! in 2 weeks.

go me

To date that takes my total loss to 1 stone 2 pouns (almost 8kilos) (but my goal is in stones so that what i am measuring in)

*does happy dance*

im back, ladies and gentlemen, i am back.

Today for my lunch i had, a salad with greens, cucumber and celery... and tuna. then a small cup of veg soup and a yogurt.

And i cycled today. so to work 4miles
from work to second job 5/6miles
home 3/4 miles

and tomorrow the same.

will give the running a go again this weekend

i am seeing the boy in a couple of weeks, the next goal is to see how much i can loose before then, and how much muscle tone i can get. mabye even lose another seven pounds...which is streatching it i know, but if i work my butt off (giggle) then it is possible!!! that way i will have lost a stone since he saw me last.

now if thats not an incentive... what is?

weigh in tomorrow, and i can see how i am doing!!!

hope everyone is having a good day

in the famous words of Frankie, RELAX
I 'fell off the waggon' last night and am now running to catch the damn lard bus!!!
I had a muffin Choc chip of course, and a blt sarni and a pack of crisps, on top of glass of milk, yogurt, banana and a portion of fish pie. In retrospect i suppose this is not too bad, but i feel like i have abandoned my quest. I suppose it has something to do with the fact that i missed last weeks weigh in and cannot see how i am doing. for my lunch today i brought a salad and a yogurt, but am tempted to eat out of the canteen.

I dont feel fine
I feel like i am teetering on the edge of depression, bare in mind that i am not used to this bloody lack of sun, so it must be SAD. This makes me laugh, calling it SAD har har har.
I need ot get my groove back, and get back on the lard bus, i am worried ive missed ir though. Although there is always the first bus tomorrow!!! and i get weighed on thurs, when its a loss i am always motivated to keep going, but this lack of knowledge just sucks. They say ignorance is bliss... well 'they' are wrong.

I am glad that my boss is not around for the afternoon as she is driving me nuts. I have my headfones in for a reason, and that reason is leave me the hell alone. Dammit cheer up woman!!!

at least i have not had a chocolate in almost a month, and the cravings have passed. which is good! i dont know why i am stressing, i dont think i have actually missed the bus compleetely, i have mearly got off and am waiting at the stop for the next one... it should come around soon

I know that i am far too self critical!!! and i ahve issues, but i am working on them, i am just not sure how to get over this slump

I have not exercised since sun, that may be contributing, but i have had to rest as i am cycling tomorrow and wanted to give my body enough recovery time!

THIS TOO SHALL PASS

after feeling crabby all week for lack of exercise i decided to go for a run, however i could not decide to go hard and fast, or long and slow. So i did both.Sat i went for a short, fast, hard run... and tonight i went for a long, slow equaly hard run. It was great!I went exactly as far as i had planned to go, so in the latest ME VS ME, I WON.so am feeling rather pleased with myself.Also got to talk to Laura for aver an hour on sat, and Jen tonight, so am feeling much much better.Also on both runs, there was no pain in my shins, which actually saying much as it takes a while for the pain to come back, but so far so good. My knee was complaining a bit, will probably strap it up next time.All in all the pain is of an 'i worked hard' variety and is very pleasant. Run 1 was only 1 mile, and run 2 was only 2, but for not having done anything since monday, and only cycling before that... it was all pretty good show!!!
I did pig out a bit this weekend, but i think with the runs it was in better control than most other times. and although it felt like piggin out, it was mostly in relation to the very little i ate all of this last week due to the newly discovererd stomach ulcer. For which i am now taking tablets and have to eat 'bland' foods for a month, and no alcohol.

well well. feeling much better, long may it last

no weigh in today (she cancelled, so i will have to wait another week to see if there is any difference)

which there should be since i havent been able to eat much, am really quite ill, mu stomach has been 'upset' for almost a week now, am off to the doctor to see what wrong.... because i was in the worse pain this morning (lay down with hot water bottle for an hour and it eased) but the pain is still there in the background.

am struggling to get food in/keep food down, which i know is nt good... i have cease the cycling seeing as i am unable to eat much i think it would be counteractive

A friend died on wed (last week) although i only heard today (the grapevien from South africa is slow) so in my head he died today, now i know we werent that close (my fault, mot things in my life from friendships with men, to relationships, etc are my fault because im neurotic) but he was still someone who was present in my life for a good 6years.

This is dedicated to all the people i have lost, know that you were loved

Natalie Van Der Ouver (aged 8)
Illona Sommerset (aged 40)
Danny Karipedies (aged 10)
Charlie Siabelo (aged 19)
Martin Olds (aged 48)
Gloria Olds (aged 68)
Ben Richards (aged 20)